Andrew, from Buffalo

Just got home from a night out with my DT, her BF and Cheerleader. We hit the College Street Bar, in the heart of Little Italy. The original plan was to go to Courthouse, however DT suggested we try CSB.

I quite enjoyed the atmosphere there. Lounge/bar/laid back. Just my style. The crowd was pretty diverse which was pretty cool.

About an hour after being there, I noticed this super tall guy making eyes at me. At one point, we locked eyes and I smiled my best smile.

DT and Cheerleader both noticed he was checking me out. I was convinced he was checking out one of them instead. Then all of a sudden, I see him waving me over. Honestly in that moment I felt like one of the Butabi Brothers from A Night At The Roxbury. (Me? Him? Me? Who? Yes? No? Me?)

The girls were going nuts. "Go talk to him!" "Do something!" "Ask him how tall he is!" "GO GO GO!!" And I protested greatly to this absurdity. First of all, I was there to hang out with my friends. And secondly, I'm sure the minute I walked over there, he would have changed his mind.

At any rate, I finally screwed up enough courage to go over where he was standing with about 5 of his buddies.

He was pretty cute looking from across the bar and as I got closer, he got hotter and hotter. OMG, an honest-to-goodness-real-life hottie waving *me* over to him!

His name was Andrew, he was 30 years old and from Buffalo. He was in town for a University of Buffalo football game at the Skydome.

And that was pretty much it. I kept trying to talk to him and dance with him and he just wouldn't give anything up. Dude had no game.

Eventually his buddies wanted to leave to go hit up Croc Rock - and for anyone who knows Toronto, Croc Rock is the absolute WORST bar in the city. I tried really hard to convince him to stay, but short of giving him a blow job on the dance floor, I don't think there was anything I could do.

And then he left. He didn't ask for a number or anything, even though I had mentioned that I still have family in Fort Erie, which is exactly two minutes from Buffalo, and I'm down there all the time.

And then the rest of the night fell to crap because my whole focus had shifted from having fun with my friends to proving my worth as a sexy and desirable woman.

So we left. And I went to Amato's and ate (what is still) the best pizza in the city.

Lava Flow

I opened a Lavalife account last night. I was on Lava about 6 years ago with disastrous results. The guys I met would either be at least 10 years older than their pictures, or they were only looking to molest me for a night.

I am hoping this has changed, now that the age range of men I'm interested in has had a few years to mature. Wait, did I just use the word mature when referencing the male species? I must still be drunk from New Year's Eve.

So in the 16 hours I've been on Lava again I have noticed a few things which have not changed. The first is guys still do not have any clue on what a good profile picture should be. It's either a shot of them from the side, a shot of them not smiling from the side, or one of them really faaaaaar awaaaaaaaaaay because they needed to get the whole mountain in the shot.

The second is there are ridiculously hot guys with profiles. If a guy is ridiculously hot, he does not need to go online for dating opportunities. Just walk out your front door and smile and I'm sure a line up will start. And the profiles these guys have might as well say, "I'm ridiculously hot, so you should be too!" They must be crazy assholes to be so hot and not be in a relationship.

And the third is that every Asian guy on there is wearing a suit in his profile picture. No offense to my Asian brothers, but really? Is this supposed to perpetuate the stereotype that Asians are smarter than everyone else on earth, and therefore have super high paying jobs in either the financial or technology sectors, and therefore are able to purchase and wear high priced suits for casual Sunday lounging at the cottage? Yeah.

I think I'm gonna be shutting down my Lava account faster than my PoF account.

Happy New Year

Everything will be fine in '09.

I went to a house party last night to ring in the New Year. I drank way too much, took some things said to me the wrong way and started crying. Then I inadvertently hurt one of my very best friends as she was trying to console drunken, angry me. (I'm sooooo sorry EG, please forgive me!)

I passed out on the floor of the computer room and one of the boy guests snuggled up to me and made out with my face while I was semi unconscious.

Yeah.

I dunno how much is gonna change this year. '09 is already off to a bizarro, tear-filled start.

Off the Wagon

I just cannot help myself. I know it was wrong but I couldn't resist.

Boy and I went for drinks last night after work. One beer led to another which led to him in my bed.

Now in my defence, I've been pretty horny lately. And it's been over a month since I've had sex. And you know, they ain't lying when they say a woman's sex drive increases exponentially as she reaches her mid thirties.

I'm seriously toying with the idea of letting his Woman know about what happened between us last night.

You see, as smart as Boy thinks he is, I'm smarter. And I know the password to his blackberry. So while he was in the washroom, I took a little tour around his inbox. Lo and behold I found an email thread then went something like this:

Boy: Hey gorgeous, what's shakin'?

Woman: I went shopping and blah blah blah and did laundry and blah blah blah, and my kid sat in a plate of ketchup twice. What about you?

Boy: Just left having drinks with coworkers. Miss you. :-(

Awww, isn't that sweet? He misses her. He must have missed her a lot because when we got back to my place, his clothes were off in about 10 seconds and we fucked so hard my bed moved about a foot and a half away from the wall.

And I'm sure he continued missing her when we fucked again at 5am and he was begging me not to stop.

And I'm positive the part where he missed her most was when he had me in his arms, kissing my face and telling me all those wonderful things you tell someone after you've done the nasty.

My heart bleeds for him. You can really tell how much he cares about her.

The great thing about all of this is that I just don't give a flying shit about him anymore. Everything that happened last night shows me the true degenerate he really is. And I'm really happy to fuck him and leave him.

Super Day

My Chinese horoscope for today:

Your energy will be great, but beware of too strong nervous tensions which might provoke troubles. Love, sex and sensual satisfactions will mark this day; you'll seduce everywhere you'll go. Do yourself pleasure, multiply hobbies and all activities capable of interesting you passionately.

Oh please oh please oh please!!!!!!!

Haters

I was driving along with my brother in the front seat and my cousins in the back. I pulled up behind a car at a stop light and I was close enough to see the license plate.

IH8 AMZ

I did a double take. So did my brother.

That plate hates me! Which means the owner of that car hates me.

Now I know that AMZ could mean any number of things. However I was driving in my very small, very annoying, hometown. And as far as I can remember, I'm the only AMZ that existed there.

There is just no love for me!

Feliz Navidad

Yesterday I saw Boy and the woman he's currently banging. It was by pure chance that I almost bumped into them. I was walking in the underground on my way to lunch, and they were walking in the other direction. They didn't see me thank goodness, but I most certainly saw them.

They didn't look very happy. Both were carrying a Starbucks coffee. She seemed more interested in the coffee than in him.

I thought back to the lunches we spent together. We were always laughing and talking and having fun.

I felt pretty sad sitting in Quiznos all alone eating my Chicken Carbonara on Whole Wheat with Mushrooms and Bacon.

I had a dream last night about Boy. A lot of time had passed and we were at a party together. We danced and we kissed and then we made love. I woke up this morning a bit disoriented and in a bit of a foul mood.

Getting off the subway, I heard the strains of "Feliz Navidad" coming from a TTC musician. I've never learned this guy's name, but he's one of my favourite underground players.

His version of "Feliz Navidad" was quite joyous and uplifting. All it took was a moment of listening before a smile broke out on my face.

Thanks to him, I had a lovely last day at work before the Christmas break.

Happy holidays to all of you.