True Blue

I went out with my best girlfriends Blondie & Jelly to karaoke last night, where a blue-haired, tattooed, 19 year old boy decided he loved me.

We'd seen this guy a few months ago when we were at the same bar. It was his birthday that night so being the nice girl I am, I wished him a happy one. Perhaps that laid the groundwork for the decision that we were meant to be together.

He came over to our table after I'd finished singing and said hello and gave me a big hug. Cute. He mentioned he was there alone, so again, being the nice girl I am, invited him to sit with us.

From that point on, he was determined to get me to agree to go out with him.

I have to admit, it certainly was flattering. If he'd been 10 years older, I probably would have agreed. But the fact of the matter is that I'm old enough to be his mother. For seriously.

At one point, while I was in the ladies room, he appealed to my girls for advice. He wanted to know if he had a shot with me. Unequivocally, they both said NO. But that didn't stop him!

He asked me to add him to Facebook. I said sure. He asked me for my phone number. I said sure to that too. I didn't want to break his little heart any more than we already had. We literally laughed in his face when he said he was a very mature 19 year old and that he could certainly provide me with what I would need in a relationship. This was after he asked me what it was that I needed in a relationship. (Answer: A man who is strong enough to be my partner.) Oh, and he asked me for my favourite colour. (Answer: Red.)

When I awoke from my drunken coma this afternoon (thank you 2 Jim Beams & 3 Cosmos), I checked my Facebook and there was his friend request. So I accepted it as promised. And soon after I received an email from him with the subject line "Please read". So I did.

hey.. ok well here it is.. i thought bout our chat and some other things.. unno maybe your right and maybe im right i dont know.. either way i had fun.. you and the girls were awesome keep up the singing.. but i guess i am just not what you need around you. this is not a cop out. i am jsut gonna be the smart one and back off while its nothing still.. your pretty kik azz and i had fun getting to know you.. if you ever need anything or wish to chat well you know where i am.. have a great life.. see you on the flip side... Peace

I'm not really sure what he means about seeing me on the flip side. Last time I checked, I wasn't going to die anytime soon. Maybe his blue hair tells him things about the future....

I noticed that he had removed me as a friend, as when I was about to write back, FB warned me this would allow him to see my profile. Geez, that was the shortest FB relationship I've ever had.

At any rate, this is more evidence as to why I'm destined to be alone. I certainly don't want to be a cradle robber, or be with someone who admittedly has multiple personality disorder (his words, not mine). And I really do want someone who's not only strong enough to be with me, but who has a command of spelling and grammar.