I just logged into my Lava account and saw that under my "relationship" profile, I've had 101 people view me. Now I say "people" rather than "men" because there could be some ladies out there who are interested in my awesomeness. I won't know for sure because it costs $14.99 a month to have such a privilege, along with sending messages and chatting. It's always free to reply, so I've been coasting on the generousity of the guys who've reached out to me.
I'm happy to say I've had quite a few IM and email messages sent my way. But there have only been 3 guys that I've had any interest in. The first was "The Yeti" (real name Scott). A tragic nickname but boy was he cute and he had a fantastic smile. We IM'd a few times, never at the same time though, so I sent him my email address and asked him to drop me a line. I haven't heard a peep from him since. Splat. :P
The second was "SharpDressedMan2" (real name Jeff). He didn't have a public picture so I asked him for his backstage pass. (It's sooooooo stupid that Lava even has this feature. People should be forced to show themselves! It's not like when you go out to a bar, you put a bag over your face when you are talking to people you are interested in. GEEZ.) He sent it and he looked alright to me. However I did get a sense of uneasiness when I looked at his eyes. They looked kind of angry, which totally reminds me of my ex husband. He'd smile with his face, but never with his eyes - pure evil. At any rate, Jeff and I exchanged MSN addresses.
The next day I initiated a chat with him and he was all like "Who IS this?" OMG, we'd chatted via the Lava chat window not 24 hours earlier and he'd already forgotten me? And once he figured it out, he just kept saying "What's up?" Seriously. Like 5 times in a row. He'd ask what's up, and I'd reply "Oh just procrastinating at work, how about you?" Then I'd see nothing for about an hour until I'd get another "What's up?" Yeah. He's going nowhere real fast.
The third is "ChefGeoff" (real name, you guessed it - Geoff). A long, curly haired, red headed chef turned paramedic/teacher. That grabbed my attention immediately. He sent me an email and a backstage pass. I liked what I saw so I wrote him back. And I'm currently waiting for a reply...
I guess I'm giving Lava a little longer chance than I gave PoF. But that could all change depending on if ChefGeoff is actually a douche.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Million Dollar Question
I went out for drinks with my friend Carolyn the other night. We went to The Irish Embassy, a trendy downtown pub on Yonge Street. Walking in felt like winning the lottery as every guy there was HOT. However, the lottery feeling soon washed away when it was evident most were married - guys at trendy pubs wear their wedding rings.
Carolyn had called her friend Peter (who is also single) to join us as our wing man. He showed up about an hour after we arrived.
When he arrived, he immediately started talking to my boobs. I have to admit I was wearing a top that had a lot of cleavage, however I was getting annoyed with the fact that my boobs were having more conversations with him than I was.
It's too bad too cuz he was kind of cute, and I could have been swayed to at least sleep with him if he hadn't totally turned me off by talking to my chest.
At one point, where he was actually addressing me and not my girls, he asked, "Why is such a lovely lady like you still single?"
Why indeed? There were a million ways I could have answered that, but I came up with "Well, actually, I'm divorced."
I know that divorced still equals single. However if I'm doomed to single hood for the rest of my life, I at least want it known that at some point in my past, there was one person who found me desirable enough to make me his wife. That puts me one step up on the Ladder I've built in my mind.
The bottom rung is never married, never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. The second rung from the bottom is divorced. Then there's a million rungs in between, leading up to the top rung which is happily married with kids and a fantastic career.
At any rate, if I knew the answer to his question, don't ya think I'd have fixed it by now? I wish it were that easy. "Oh, the reason I'm still single is because my hair isn't curly enough. I'm off to the hairdresser tomorrow to get a perm and by night fall, I should be happily coupled!"
And the reason he's still single? Just ask my boobs, they'll tell ya.
Carolyn had called her friend Peter (who is also single) to join us as our wing man. He showed up about an hour after we arrived.
When he arrived, he immediately started talking to my boobs. I have to admit I was wearing a top that had a lot of cleavage, however I was getting annoyed with the fact that my boobs were having more conversations with him than I was.
It's too bad too cuz he was kind of cute, and I could have been swayed to at least sleep with him if he hadn't totally turned me off by talking to my chest.
At one point, where he was actually addressing me and not my girls, he asked, "Why is such a lovely lady like you still single?"
Why indeed? There were a million ways I could have answered that, but I came up with "Well, actually, I'm divorced."
I know that divorced still equals single. However if I'm doomed to single hood for the rest of my life, I at least want it known that at some point in my past, there was one person who found me desirable enough to make me his wife. That puts me one step up on the Ladder I've built in my mind.
The bottom rung is never married, never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. The second rung from the bottom is divorced. Then there's a million rungs in between, leading up to the top rung which is happily married with kids and a fantastic career.
At any rate, if I knew the answer to his question, don't ya think I'd have fixed it by now? I wish it were that easy. "Oh, the reason I'm still single is because my hair isn't curly enough. I'm off to the hairdresser tomorrow to get a perm and by night fall, I should be happily coupled!"
And the reason he's still single? Just ask my boobs, they'll tell ya.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Karma
Facebook sure has brought a ton of people back into my life, even in a limited profile sort of way. One of those people who has popped up was a guy I went to elementary school with named Eddie B.
I was in LOVE with him in Grade 5. We "went out" for a few days and then he dumped me for my friend Elana. I was heart broken. For years after, he would make fun of me, calling me ugly and stuff.
Even as we went on to high school, he hung with the "cool kids" and I apparently was too much of a loser for him to even acknowledge my presence, never mind admit that was once I was his "girlfriend".
I got a friend request last week from him. So I added him, expecting he would be non communicative like 3/4 of the others on my friend list. About 10 minutes after I added him, he sent me an email asking me what I've been up to in the 15 years since high school. I filled him in, including the fact that I am divorced. He wrote me back, divorced as well + 2 kids. At the end of the email he asked me out for drinks sometime.
I had a true laugh-out-loud moment as I read that. He never spoke to me in high school and now 15 years later he wants some quality one-on-one time? Yeah right. That smacks of desperation. Oh, and he's fat now too.
I love karma.
I was in LOVE with him in Grade 5. We "went out" for a few days and then he dumped me for my friend Elana. I was heart broken. For years after, he would make fun of me, calling me ugly and stuff.
Even as we went on to high school, he hung with the "cool kids" and I apparently was too much of a loser for him to even acknowledge my presence, never mind admit that was once I was his "girlfriend".
I got a friend request last week from him. So I added him, expecting he would be non communicative like 3/4 of the others on my friend list. About 10 minutes after I added him, he sent me an email asking me what I've been up to in the 15 years since high school. I filled him in, including the fact that I am divorced. He wrote me back, divorced as well + 2 kids. At the end of the email he asked me out for drinks sometime.
I had a true laugh-out-loud moment as I read that. He never spoke to me in high school and now 15 years later he wants some quality one-on-one time? Yeah right. That smacks of desperation. Oh, and he's fat now too.
I love karma.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
[ ]
I've spent the last hour searching through profiles on Lava. There are quite a lot of unremarkable looking people. Not ugly, just not really anything.
Of the few pictures that I've seen which have tickled my fancy, I've tried imagining what it would be like to meet them, get to know them, and perhaps even have a relationship with them.
And then my brain goes numb and I just can't really bring about a picture in my mind of what that would actually be like.
I think I've hit a true mental block. I just can't envision this ever happening. I wish there was a way to download the feeling and post it here. It's like a big, blank, white space with nothing in it.
And the harder I think about it, the more tired I get. Really, really, t.i.r.e.d. I just cannot fathom having to go through all the get-to-know-you shit again. It was hard enough dating before I met my husband, and now to have to start all over! But now it's with a rag-tag-patched-up heart to protect along with a huge void where my self confidence used to reside and a big ol' chip on my shoulder.
Oh I think I'll be shutting down my Lava account before the week is over. I'm just so over it and the whole scene they call dating.
Of the few pictures that I've seen which have tickled my fancy, I've tried imagining what it would be like to meet them, get to know them, and perhaps even have a relationship with them.
And then my brain goes numb and I just can't really bring about a picture in my mind of what that would actually be like.
I think I've hit a true mental block. I just can't envision this ever happening. I wish there was a way to download the feeling and post it here. It's like a big, blank, white space with nothing in it.
And the harder I think about it, the more tired I get. Really, really, t.i.r.e.d. I just cannot fathom having to go through all the get-to-know-you shit again. It was hard enough dating before I met my husband, and now to have to start all over! But now it's with a rag-tag-patched-up heart to protect along with a huge void where my self confidence used to reside and a big ol' chip on my shoulder.
Oh I think I'll be shutting down my Lava account before the week is over. I'm just so over it and the whole scene they call dating.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Andrew, from Buffalo
Just got home from a night out with my DT, her BF and Cheerleader. We hit the College Street Bar, in the heart of Little Italy. The original plan was to go to Courthouse, however DT suggested we try CSB.
I quite enjoyed the atmosphere there. Lounge/bar/laid back. Just my style. The crowd was pretty diverse which was pretty cool.
About an hour after being there, I noticed this super tall guy making eyes at me. At one point, we locked eyes and I smiled my best smile.
DT and Cheerleader both noticed he was checking me out. I was convinced he was checking out one of them instead. Then all of a sudden, I see him waving me over. Honestly in that moment I felt like one of the Butabi Brothers from A Night At The Roxbury. (Me? Him? Me? Who? Yes? No? Me?)
The girls were going nuts. "Go talk to him!" "Do something!" "Ask him how tall he is!" "GO GO GO!!" And I protested greatly to this absurdity. First of all, I was there to hang out with my friends. And secondly, I'm sure the minute I walked over there, he would have changed his mind.
At any rate, I finally screwed up enough courage to go over where he was standing with about 5 of his buddies.
He was pretty cute looking from across the bar and as I got closer, he got hotter and hotter. OMG, an honest-to-goodness-real-life hottie waving *me* over to him!
His name was Andrew, he was 30 years old and from Buffalo. He was in town for a University of Buffalo football game at the Skydome.
And that was pretty much it. I kept trying to talk to him and dance with him and he just wouldn't give anything up. Dude had no game.
Eventually his buddies wanted to leave to go hit up Croc Rock - and for anyone who knows Toronto, Croc Rock is the absolute WORST bar in the city. I tried really hard to convince him to stay, but short of giving him a blow job on the dance floor, I don't think there was anything I could do.
And then he left. He didn't ask for a number or anything, even though I had mentioned that I still have family in Fort Erie, which is exactly two minutes from Buffalo, and I'm down there all the time.
And then the rest of the night fell to crap because my whole focus had shifted from having fun with my friends to proving my worth as a sexy and desirable woman.
So we left. And I went to Amato's and ate (what is still) the best pizza in the city.
I quite enjoyed the atmosphere there. Lounge/bar/laid back. Just my style. The crowd was pretty diverse which was pretty cool.
About an hour after being there, I noticed this super tall guy making eyes at me. At one point, we locked eyes and I smiled my best smile.
DT and Cheerleader both noticed he was checking me out. I was convinced he was checking out one of them instead. Then all of a sudden, I see him waving me over. Honestly in that moment I felt like one of the Butabi Brothers from A Night At The Roxbury. (Me? Him? Me? Who? Yes? No? Me?)
The girls were going nuts. "Go talk to him!" "Do something!" "Ask him how tall he is!" "GO GO GO!!" And I protested greatly to this absurdity. First of all, I was there to hang out with my friends. And secondly, I'm sure the minute I walked over there, he would have changed his mind.
At any rate, I finally screwed up enough courage to go over where he was standing with about 5 of his buddies.
He was pretty cute looking from across the bar and as I got closer, he got hotter and hotter. OMG, an honest-to-goodness-real-life hottie waving *me* over to him!
His name was Andrew, he was 30 years old and from Buffalo. He was in town for a University of Buffalo football game at the Skydome.
And that was pretty much it. I kept trying to talk to him and dance with him and he just wouldn't give anything up. Dude had no game.
Eventually his buddies wanted to leave to go hit up Croc Rock - and for anyone who knows Toronto, Croc Rock is the absolute WORST bar in the city. I tried really hard to convince him to stay, but short of giving him a blow job on the dance floor, I don't think there was anything I could do.
And then he left. He didn't ask for a number or anything, even though I had mentioned that I still have family in Fort Erie, which is exactly two minutes from Buffalo, and I'm down there all the time.
And then the rest of the night fell to crap because my whole focus had shifted from having fun with my friends to proving my worth as a sexy and desirable woman.
So we left. And I went to Amato's and ate (what is still) the best pizza in the city.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Lava Flow
I opened a Lavalife account last night. I was on Lava about 6 years ago with disastrous results. The guys I met would either be at least 10 years older than their pictures, or they were only looking to molest me for a night.
I am hoping this has changed, now that the age range of men I'm interested in has had a few years to mature. Wait, did I just use the word mature when referencing the male species? I must still be drunk from New Year's Eve.
So in the 16 hours I've been on Lava again I have noticed a few things which have not changed. The first is guys still do not have any clue on what a good profile picture should be. It's either a shot of them from the side, a shot of them not smiling from the side, or one of them really faaaaaar awaaaaaaaaaay because they needed to get the whole mountain in the shot.
The second is there are ridiculously hot guys with profiles. If a guy is ridiculously hot, he does not need to go online for dating opportunities. Just walk out your front door and smile and I'm sure a line up will start. And the profiles these guys have might as well say, "I'm ridiculously hot, so you should be too!" They must be crazy assholes to be so hot and not be in a relationship.
And the third is that every Asian guy on there is wearing a suit in his profile picture. No offense to my Asian brothers, but really? Is this supposed to perpetuate the stereotype that Asians are smarter than everyone else on earth, and therefore have super high paying jobs in either the financial or technology sectors, and therefore are able to purchase and wear high priced suits for casual Sunday lounging at the cottage? Yeah.
I think I'm gonna be shutting down my Lava account faster than my PoF account.
I am hoping this has changed, now that the age range of men I'm interested in has had a few years to mature. Wait, did I just use the word mature when referencing the male species? I must still be drunk from New Year's Eve.
So in the 16 hours I've been on Lava again I have noticed a few things which have not changed. The first is guys still do not have any clue on what a good profile picture should be. It's either a shot of them from the side, a shot of them not smiling from the side, or one of them really faaaaaar awaaaaaaaaaay because they needed to get the whole mountain in the shot.
The second is there are ridiculously hot guys with profiles. If a guy is ridiculously hot, he does not need to go online for dating opportunities. Just walk out your front door and smile and I'm sure a line up will start. And the profiles these guys have might as well say, "I'm ridiculously hot, so you should be too!" They must be crazy assholes to be so hot and not be in a relationship.
And the third is that every Asian guy on there is wearing a suit in his profile picture. No offense to my Asian brothers, but really? Is this supposed to perpetuate the stereotype that Asians are smarter than everyone else on earth, and therefore have super high paying jobs in either the financial or technology sectors, and therefore are able to purchase and wear high priced suits for casual Sunday lounging at the cottage? Yeah.
I think I'm gonna be shutting down my Lava account faster than my PoF account.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year
Everything will be fine in '09.
I went to a house party last night to ring in the New Year. I drank way too much, took some things said to me the wrong way and started crying. Then I inadvertently hurt one of my very best friends as she was trying to console drunken, angry me. (I'm sooooo sorry EG, please forgive me!)
I passed out on the floor of the computer room and one of the boy guests snuggled up to me and made out with my face while I was semi unconscious.
Yeah.
I dunno how much is gonna change this year. '09 is already off to a bizarro, tear-filled start.
I went to a house party last night to ring in the New Year. I drank way too much, took some things said to me the wrong way and started crying. Then I inadvertently hurt one of my very best friends as she was trying to console drunken, angry me. (I'm sooooo sorry EG, please forgive me!)
I passed out on the floor of the computer room and one of the boy guests snuggled up to me and made out with my face while I was semi unconscious.
Yeah.
I dunno how much is gonna change this year. '09 is already off to a bizarro, tear-filled start.
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