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I've spent the last hour searching through profiles on Lava. There are quite a lot of unremarkable looking people. Not ugly, just not really anything.

Of the few pictures that I've seen which have tickled my fancy, I've tried imagining what it would be like to meet them, get to know them, and perhaps even have a relationship with them.

And then my brain goes numb and I just can't really bring about a picture in my mind of what that would actually be like.

I think I've hit a true mental block. I just can't envision this ever happening. I wish there was a way to download the feeling and post it here. It's like a big, blank, white space with nothing in it.

And the harder I think about it, the more tired I get. Really, really, t.i.r.e.d. I just cannot fathom having to go through all the get-to-know-you shit again. It was hard enough dating before I met my husband, and now to have to start all over! But now it's with a rag-tag-patched-up heart to protect along with a huge void where my self confidence used to reside and a big ol' chip on my shoulder.

Oh I think I'll be shutting down my Lava account before the week is over. I'm just so over it and the whole scene they call dating.