Don't Touch

Things have been moving along nicely with Boy. We've been spending a moderate amount of time together which is just enough for me. Fun and light which is what he wants and I am enjoying.

He asked me out for drinks last night. I said yes and was quite looking forward to it. However, as everything in my life, the moment I think everything is a-okay, it blows up in my face.

He told me last night that he doesn't want me to fall in love with him. He "sees the way I look at him", and that I am always trying to make physical contact when we are together.

As John Travolta's character Danny said in Grease, "Don't make me laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha." I laughed my fucking ass off at his arrogance and obvious narcissism. I got down on the floor of the pub and laid flat on my back laughing as loud as possible.

I made it very clear that although he may think I'm giving him googly eyes, it is in fact that I'm simply making eye contact because I treat the people I'm boinking with respect. Shocking! I care just enough to acknowledge the fact that he's a human being and not just a piece of meat.

Along the same vein, reaching out to touch his hand is saying, "Hey, I know you're a person with feelings, and I just want you to know that even though this isn't ever going to go anywhere, I still care *just* enough to ensure that you are acknowledged and appreciated."

Hand holding & eye contact = falling in love. Who knew?

Geezus farqing Christ.

So things quickly turned for the worse and it got to the point where we were challenging each other to a fist fight outside. He's dead at recess man! You know, I'm generally a sweet girl but when someone gets up in my face, I turn evil. And I think I may have actually fought him if I hadn't stopped drinking at that point.

Eventually I started crying and I just ran away leaving him on a street corner.

He sent me a few text messages. I called him. I reamed him out some more. He apologized for making me feel like shit for showing him affection.

We had plans to hang out tonight, which he would still like to do. I'm really on the fence. Like I said in a previous post, I'm lonely. Lonely sometimes is worse than being treated like shit.

DT doesn't want me to see Boy anymore. She kept saying over and over "Please don't go!" She's rather distressed about the whole situation. It's slightly comforting to know that she cares that much.

I suppose I'll make up my mind a little later. But for now, I'm listening to some NKOTB and wallowing a bit.