And a Half

Today is my half birthday. I'm exactly 6 months into my 35th year of life.

I've always lived by the philosophy of finding every opportunity to celebrate. So as long as I can remember, I've always celebrated my half birthday. Of course, it's never with the extravagance of celebrating my real birthday, but I've always tried to do a little something special in honour of the half way point.

This half birthday is met with mixed emotions. I'll be 35 in 6 short months.

Thirty-five.

THIRTY-BLOODY-FIVE! I would be a liar if I said that this doesn't bother me. It. Bothers. Me. And only because I am no where near where I want to be in my personal life.

Professionally, I feel pretty good. I'm the head of something now, after having taken a hit and losing my job where I was the head of nothing. I know there will be more opportunity for me to grow in my new position and I am excited about that.

I'm in a band. That's miles ahead of where I was only 3 years ago. I've written and recorded a song. Doesn't sound like much, but that's a huge accomplishment for me. I finally got that creative ball rolling and there's no stopping it now.

Personally, I feel lousy. I'm still stuck in the same place I was when I started this blog. There has been zero positive movement. There's been a whole lot of shitbag negative movement, but who the fuck wants to celebrate that?

I took a look at a post from exactly a year ago today, and guess what? It was about me feeling sad because I had no one at home waiting for me after work. And guess what again? That fact is still true. Probably more true now seeing as at least I was going on regular dates last summer. Wow, I think I've actually made negative progress in my love life.

So now that I'm staring the big three-five in the eye, I don't feel quite so celebratory.

You know, if it wasn't for this damn screaming biological clock, I think things would be a whole lot better.